Switzerland 1, Hotel 0

Bonjour and hallo and hi in like five other languages from Zurich, Switzerland. Disclaimer: I'm on a trip sponsored by the Switzerland tourist board. And I am having a glass of wine.

So. Sunday, I left the Gadling meetup in Austin at around 6:30 AM, took four flights (O'Hare, JFK, Geneva, Zurich) and then two trains to reach Teufel, Switzerland, where I arrived, Monday morning, exhausted and bewildered, at my first hotel: the Null Stern Hotel. Null Stern means Zero Stars. It's a hotel in an old air raid shelter.

I should add that I was somewhat lost on my way to the hotel. Fortunately, a woman shouted something in Switzerlish out her third story window at me, and upon guessing my native language, gave me directions. There's nothing like being on your own in a country where you don't speak the language (and can't read signs, etc.). You are completely at the mercy of the locals.

So. "Where's the hotel?" you might ask, looking at that picture. Answer: underground. I don't want to say too much about it, as I'll definitely be writing it up for Gadling, but let's just say it's eccentric and fun, hostel-style ... and kind of bizarre. And a weird place to get to after traveling for about a million hours.

It was early afternoon when I arrived and there was certainly nothing to do at the windowless Null Stern (the highest grade of bed is about $30 per night and all beds are in common rooms, no privacy), so I got myself on a train to Appenzell, a local town known as the "tourist centre of Appenzellerland," which is the (stunning) Eastern highlands region where Teufel is located.

Appenzell is basically the most adorable place anyone has ever been, ever. It looks like nothing I've ever seen. Every building is more intricately painted than the last, and the Cathedral of St. Mauritius is astonishingly beautiful. Here's a view from the graveyard:

The inside of the cathedral is decked in golds and frescos and stained glass. The graveyard is exceptionally well-kept, and includes a heartwrenching section for the graves of children only:

They're really beautiful.

I was unable to find a bar or restaurant in Appenzell with any people in it (around 5 PM), so I headed back to Teufel for dinner. Unable to read any signs, I first ended up in a bar where they didn't serve food, but was directed to a nearby restaurant, where I had curry soup and air-dried sausage (which I'm told is a "Swiss mountain specialty" and is basically sausage that's been left out awhile -- it was good). Then I went to bed early in the bomb shelter:

Nice sleigh bed, no? That little thing on the bedside table is a pair of headphones, ear-protection style. I didn't need them for any air raids, but they might have come in handy when the Russians came in later that night.

Then I became the mayor of the Null Stern Hotel on Foursquare.

The next morning, today, I sprang up early for a visit to the Appenzeller cheese dairy, which I reached by bus without too much drama (I talked with several non-English speakers and made a lot of innocent faces). It was really interesting to see how good cheese is made. I'll write about that (for money) too, so I'll keep the details to myself. It was a lot of fun, though, and unlike with many food tours, it didn't turn me off to the idea of eating cheese ever again. In fact, I couldn't wait to have some when the tour was over. It's good stuff!

Then, I took a train to Zurich, but not before *probably* depositing four postcards into a bus ticket receptacle. I'm still not sure. We'll see how that goes. Sorry if it failed; I'm not sending more. The four postcards plus postage cost me about $15. It's expensive here.

I caught a tram to my new hotel, Hotel Engimatt (above). I confess that when I heard the name of the hotel, I thought "Ooooooh, it's an enigma!" And, when I walked into the lobby, I thought I might be up for something super-luxe ... but unfortunately, the rooms look like an Econo-Lodge:

No bathtub, a TV of about 14", and no toiletries save for a one-liquid-for-all soap/shampoo and a bottle of lotion. The maid recently came in (while I was writing this) to restock the mini bar. Still, everything works and I'm perfectly happy -- just achy and wishing for a bath. Tomorrow we have two hours at a nearby spa to relax (not treatments, just use of the facilities). That will be nice. 

Being a journalist, I called down to the front desk to see what the usual rate for this room is. 265 Swiss Francs! The exchange rate is nearly one-for-one here. I told you Switzerland is expensive.

The rest of the press trip arrives, as I mentioned, tomorrow. I'm looking forward to some fun Swiss times!